Yesterday was joy. Today is a bad day for me. Cried until my eyes swollen and patches of redness appear below my eyes. It's me that did wrong to someone else. My bad mouth. Bad bad mouth. Perhaps this is a wake-up call for me. The punishment of being a meanie, who doesn't care about others' feelings yet keep demanding attention myself. I don't want to think of the bad consequences and I don't want it. I hate myself. Why? Because I am in bliss but I don't know bliss.