My heart is peaceful, at least for today. But I croaked like a toad. How interesting. The combination of citron tea with honey is heavenly. Not only it sooths my throat, it also improves my voice a little each time after I drink. My china friend gave me a packet of cough medicine to eat. How sweet. However, I do not think it will help because it is only for reducing cough and does not really help in regaining your voice. The last time I lost my voice, it was terrible. I couldn't speak, nor even croak. Antibotics helped and I am really comtemplating whether to visit the doctor for it.

The webmsn is perpetually down. When I called home, my mum was going to get a phone card soon to call me. No msn equals no contact with any other persons. How depressing. I guess there is no other persons to depend on, other than my family. They are the only persons I can count on for giving me support when I need it. How cruel life can get. The lack of blood link heightens the possibility that people will treat you badly. I loved him so much, but he just dumped me just like that. I don't see my parents dis-owning me for my bad temper. I don't see my sisters hating me for quarrelling with them. He did.

Tomorrow evening, I will be travelling to Italy until the next next monday. It will no doubt be the longest holiday I will take in Europe. I need to learn to not wait for his smses. It's always the case that I sms him first before he will sms me back. I wouldn't this time. I'll try to forget about this asshole who created so much hurt, disappointment and heartbreak in my entire life.

Today is offically a month since he initated the breakup. How joyeous! His first month of freedom. Yet it's my first month of sadness, self-denial, confusion and crying.

My birthday this year is going to be in Italy. No celebrations with any one. I am sorry to say that birthday wishes are untrue. I wished every year I will be forever with him. How real can a wish get.

It's time to wake up and move on..