Sometimes I think I don't know myself. I have weird tempers. I need attention. I need privacy. I feel like I need to have a mind of my own. Just like the Intel guy, who said he learnt to say "No" only when he started to work. I am the kind of soft person, who is easily swayed by others. I'm just confused about myself now. Sometimes I don't know what I live for. I tried to experience life the the max, and that's why I'm in France doing my exchange now. Circumstances changed while I am away, and yet I'm helpless to do anything about it. Why do I exist? Why me? I do wondered before what would be another person whom my mum and dad would give birth if (Okie strange thought..) her another egg is fertilized. Haha.. Weird right? Maybe he/she's prettier or handsome, more confident, more sociable, and everything he/she is better than me. Sometimes I do feel like I am wasting my life away. I don't know why I think of this. My mind do wonder away when I am too free. Oh, I am a pessimist too. I need to think the worse to feel better when the fact comes? Haha. I'm getting weird and weird. I don't think even people who are close to me knows much about me too. I think I behave like a loner, who doesn't easily share my own thoughts. Who would really understand me? Myself? I don't know.. After 21 years of my life, I am still immature. What is called growing up? And what qualifies as being mature? No tantrums? Is a mature person confident? The only thing I find myself mature is I don't play with toys/bears anymore. But I do love my ting ting very much. Really mature man.. I hope my time here in France makes me understand myself. So much time to slack shall equal more times to think about myself and my life. Well, what a weird blog today? Hee..

Yesterday, I just came back from my trip to Nice, Cannes and Monaco. The kind of scenes you see in television about the rich and famous is true. Cannes and Monaco is richer than Nice. These places were hotter than Cergy, where my school is located. On the first day of travel from Cergy to CDG airport in Paris, my poor friend puked and puked her way to Nice. She became so sick in the first day. While she rested in the hotel in the evening, my other two friends and I went to visit Nice. Nice is a beautiful place. Pebbled beach and topless suntanning women. Yeap, the young, the old women. It's quite an amusing sight. I don't think I will ever dare to suntan topless. The old women in Nice are quite hyper in their lives. According to a french girl's mum who brought us around, she said some of them swim in the winter everyday. Haha. Suntanning and swimming. Well, old ladies in Singapore exercised tai-chi and walk in the park everyday. Huge difference. The sceneries are quite beautiful, with the mountains and the sea. The waters are sparkling blue against the mid-day sun. Can you just imagine the beautiful scene in your head? The sun's quite hot. I got a tan just walking under the sun. The place that the mum drove us to was really really beautiful. If next time I have a chance to go Nice, I will definitely visit that beach again. I saw big yachts owned by the rich people. There are just so so many down there. It's a sight you will never ever see in Singapore. Cannes and Monaco, of course, has like ten times more yachts than Nice. In Cannes, there's a whole stretch of road that sells branded stuffs. The housing there are super duper expensive. I don't think if you are poor, you can afford to stay in these cities. Paris looked considerably shabbier compared to these cities. Really. In Monaco, we visited an island "Sainte Margurite" which has the "Iron Mask" prison. I didn't know that the story was real. I only watched the Leonardo Dicarpio movie before. The village is simple and beautiful. Due to time constraint to board the ferry back to Monaco, we didn't see the any prision or dungeon. Well, too bad. The entire travel was about walking, walking and more walking. My addidas shoes was quite a good investment. It has walked like a thousand miles with me and it is still holding there. Haa.. We took an overnight train back to Cergy on tuesday night. The train trip was pretty happening. We met taiwanese people, and french guys. French guys can be pretty outright and shocking to Asians. Well, the one we met on the train was horny and he wanted to sleep with someone in the train. My friend genna pestered by him, while I was luckier because he thought I was underage. Haha. The benefit of looking young. My train room was for six persons. My friends and I slept in the upper bunks. There's like hardly any space for sitting upright in the bed. However, it's actually quite refreshing after you wake up in the morning. The sleeping position actually makes one to be able to sleep through the night. Well, a new experience.

This weekend I will be travelling again, to Bordeaux which is famous for wines. I will buy a bottle of red wine and white wine back to Singapore. So, mum and dad can taste the wine from France. It's quite cheap.

Today I am eating baguette and cuppincco for dinner. Earlier today, my friend and I went to have breakfast cum lunch in the school's restuarant. Surprisingly, it's really cheap there. I bought a big plate of hamburger and fries for 2.90 euros. It's really really cheap compared to another other place in France. You know in Monaco, my lunch which is a hotdog, costed 3 euros? Super expensive.

Okie, I am stopping my ramblings now. I feel reluctant to stop but I am going to stop now. Hee.. =P