I woke up so miserable. Dreamt of him last night. He's just there beside me, a presence that never failed me. I dreamt he said "Okay, let's start over again". I woke up dreamily and thought it was real for a moment. Realization struck me and I started crying again. He really broke my heart so badly. I really don't know how to recover and I can't recover with him in my mind every moment of the day. Why are my tears falling again? I promised myself not to cry for that heartless guy again. Why am I so weak? So weak???? This exchange to France should be a wonderful experience for me. Yet, I am crying here because my love decide to leave me just like that. Do I love him more than he loves me? I think I do. He doesn't. He doesn't even want to give me a reason to redeem myself and change my faults. I thought he was the most wonderful person, possibility is there is a god, to drop him in my life. But he turned out to the greatest disappointment in my entire life. The coldness of him chills me. I never knew this side of him. The kind of thing he will do to someone he dares to hurt. He forgave the wrong things his friends did to him, but he doesnt' forgive me even though he knew I loved him dearly. What's not to forgive? Did I kill his parents or cheat on him or what? I didn't. Why is he doing this to me? My peace is broken again. The peace that I worked so hard to achieve since he broke up with me.