My heart is thumping hard and I am restless. Because it's his birthday today, 22 November. A day which I always remembered. Without fail each year, I would wish him happy birthday. But, this year he doesn't need me or my birthday wishes anymore. He is beginning his new life, without me. I'm just the trash to be swept away. The thing that marred his life. 
His exams should be over now and he must be having the time of his life. What could he be possibly doing now? Perhaps celebrating with his new found friends? Or new girlfriend cum best friend? Or maybe he is just celebrating it alone or with his family tomorrow.. He wished me happy birthday hours just before my birthday and also sent a birthday card all the way from Singapore to Cergy. Should I do the same? Wish him happy birthday since he wished me? My friend commented that birthday wishes should be heartfelt and sincere. Yes, I agree. But for now, I am sour, angry and upset. I don't feel like wishing him happy birthday. I can't bring myself to wish him to be happy. I know I am immature, but I just can't do it. 
Way before he wanted to break up with me, I already bought him a present. I don't know what I should do with it. Dump it away? Give it to someone else? 
I just feel so much at a loss now. Confused and miserable..