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My heart is thumping hard and I am restless. Because it's his birthday today, 22 November. A day which I always remembered. Without fail each year, I would wish him happy birthday. But, this year he doesn't need me or my birthday wishes anymore. He is beginning his new life, without me. I'm just the trash to be swept away. The thing that marred his life.

His exams should be over now and he must be having the time of his life. What could he be possibly doing now? Perhaps celebrating with his new found friends? Or new girlfriend cum best friend? Or maybe he is just celebrating it alone or with his family tomorrow.. He wished me happy birthday hours just before my birthday and also sent a birthday card all the way from Singapore to Cergy. Should I do the same? Wish him happy birthday since he wished me? My friend commented that birthday wishes should be heartfelt and sincere. Yes, I agree. But for now, I am sour, angry and upset. I don't feel like wishing him happy birthday. I can't bring myself to wish him to be happy. I know I am immature, but I just can't do it.

Way before he wanted to break up with me, I already bought him a present. I don't know what I should do with it. Dump it away? Give it to someone else?

I just feel so much at a loss now. Confused and miserable..

Sunday, November 21, 2004
0Kisses pour moi
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hello
Loves a good read over a cuppa of coffee. Addicted to all things french for unknown reasons. Shopping is simply in her nature. Loves the adorable doggies and wishes for one to love her back too. Looks forward to expand her lovely bags collection. Dreams to backpack and see the world. Such expensive tastes compels her to work hard to realise her dreams. Loves fresh smell of rain. Can't live without her mascara. Romantic at heart. Loves only people who are worthy of it.


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