Sometimes I think I am a sad case of life. My definition of happiness seems to come from mostly him. Now that he is gone, what else makes me happy?

Firstly, my coffee? A whiff of the deliciously-sweet smelling aroma makes me day start. Yes, I am proud to proclaim that I am a coffee addict. I can have 3 cups a day, if my coffee addict calls out to me. If I drop on a lone island, please supply me with endless coffee. Maybe a cow too because I need milk for my coffee. I know I am mad. Thanks. My life in school hostel is so mundane that I need to derive happiness from little things around me. Like preciously drinking the 3-in-1 packets of NesCafe that my mum sent me? Everysince my breakup, my mentality to start the day is if I need to feel happy today, I shall drink one pack of the NesCafe. It's stupid, but it's sent by my parents. It's precious.

The second item on the happiness list is home-cooked food. Yesterday's dinner with two groups of friends made me miss home very much. One of my friend's uncles here cooked stewed beef and made my friend bring a pot of it back. Together with half a bowl of rice, I do feel like I hadn't eaten really a home meal in a long long time. The beef is nicely cooked and amazingly tender. The rice is so fragrant too. Oh.. And the beef "Juap" over the rice is oh-my-god.. My dear sisters, upon seeing me practically drooled over my description of food here, please ask daddy to cook stewed beef and rice for me when I come back on December 29. Haha. Thanks a million! Dinner with another group of friends was good too. The thai soup, chicken with capsican, stirred fried beef with capsician, and tomato with eggs. Yummy. I hadn't eaten so much things anytime recently. I can truely understand why people just don't feel like eating during breakups. But yesterday, home-cooked meals and friends do make me feel like eating again. The warmth that it brings. Friends and families.

The third thing that makes me happy is my family. Now it's like I writing a primary school little composition of why I love my family. Haha. I love my family because they are always standing strong behind me. The support and the love they gave me over my 22 years of life is endless. I do believe now that marriage is very hard to maintain. Considerations over kids, housework, money, and time are hard to juggle. My parents managed to balance all these things and stay together. I admire them for that. Deep in my heart, I always thought I wanted to get married early to him. Spending the rest of my life with him is bliss. Well, now he can't take it and lost his love for me. And blab, blab, blab. Haiz. My sisters. Although there are times we do nonsensical squabblings and we ignore each other, we still care for one another very much. Nothing is still too great to break our sisterly bonds, ever. We enjoy shopping. Hehe. And we enjoy good food. A sisterly trip out to town would never stop us from going to a restuarant to eat our hearts out heartily. My little sister is growing up. Soon, she will too join our grown-up trips to shop and to eat. Bad influence, I know. But this is the way we bond.

The fourth item on my happiness list is my friends. I had been changing my perception of friendships over this past 2 months. I have been through the roughside of friendships, but I am now too seeing the other side it. I saw friends who stood by me when I was very very down. Offered me a listening ear. Offered me advices. Tried to make me happy. Here, I am grateful to a dear friend who incessently listened to all my ramblings and cryings. Somehow, it has become that after hearing her going on and on, I do feel much better. Weird, right? She doing all the talking and I am the sad one. There was a time when I cried uncontrollably and non-stop, she came and cried with me. And, she talked non-stop again. And I felt better. I feel sort of guilty because I put her through all my painful moments. Things I think she did not deserve to go through again. Thank you. And I'm really grateful to you forever. I have also another two dear friends, who are "happy-fruits" in literally chinese translations. They amazingly did a very touching and sweet powerpoint to cheer me up. I had never expected friends to do such a thing for me. Although we are very far apart, it still did not deterred their care and concerns for me. Rambling on and on about my problems to them makes me feel peaceful again at the end of the day. The happy side of them makes me want to feel happy too. Thank you, girls. I thank you for your efforts and concern. They truely touched me.

So far, there is nothing else on my list. Something that once exist is now gone. Unwillingly.

That's all for now.