I have two guilts to confess.

My official "awake" hours seems to be only 13 hours, with my new wakeup time at noon and sleeptime at about 1am. This isn't good. I'm becoming more and more like a pig. Or should I flatter myself and say that I'm a sleeping beauty who needs lots of resting hours? Sounds better yah?

With the weather changing, my appetite seems to be growing too. Okay, I feel so guilty for snacking so much, especially at night. My stomach just feels the urge to be filled with snacks, not food. My friend just confessed to me that recently she had been snacking a lot too. It was so funny when she said that she went to cook omelette and tomatoes at 2am in the morning, another hostel mate came in and caught her in the action. Being our strict dietian, she's been losing control and eating too much too as well. Haha. So I can't be blamed for eating too much right?

But.. To make up for "pigging out" which includes sleeping and eating too much, I've been doing a lot of crunches and sit-ups. Hopefully, my tummy doesn't grow any bigger that it is.

My "daylight" hours seemed to pass pretty quickly. School workload increased a bit, but me being an effective worker, nothing can really occupy my time that long. Finished half of the Financial Engineering homework and I'm leaving the studying of my French test to Sunday. Soon, I'll need to cram for my exams. Only one of it will be counted as a credit for my school, while the other is just considered as an extra course that I took here. And it's not very motivating for me to study. Ahaha. Being here is like being on an extended holiday.

My friends are leaving to go Germany tomorrow. This weekend will be spent with less people again. Haiz. But, being on holidays with all my friends here had been filled with fun and joy, but the only downside is exhaustion. Our travels in other parts of France, Italy, Spain and Belgium consisted of intensive walking all day long, with our main resting time only when we eat. Can you take the challenge to walk all day long? If you can, I think one should do more travelling when he or she can still do it. I feel really lucky that I had this chance to travel around Europe when I am only this old. Can you imagine being an old grand mama and then doing all the travelling when you can barely walked straight or have to be wheeled in a wheelchair? My crazy mind suddenly flashed the thought of Venice suddenly flooding, and an old grandma having rheumatism because her legs are soaked in the water. What a painful thought.

I feel grateful for what my parents had given me, the chance to see this world. Dear Mum and Dad, thank you for sponsoring my optional study trip in France and all my travellings around Europe. I know you don't bare to spend to go travelling yourselves, yet you still allowed and let me to go where I wanted. I'm really eternally grateful to both of you. I know they wouldn't read this, but I still need to say this off my mind. I really hope I graduate soon, so I can work hard and have the financial means to bring the two of them around the world. They had worked hard enough for me, and it's my turn to work hard for them. There are some things that had put my mind in a clearer perspective since the happening of some other unfortunate things. Maybe it is better that I see it now, instead of only when it is even later. I want to say.. I love you, Mum and Dad. Well, in my entire life, I had never said it to my parents. What if one day if I died abroad or at home, will they ever know that I love them? Before any of you think that I wrote this because I am going to kill myself, I'm not. I just felt the need to say what I wanted to say before one day should some unfortunate things happen to me, and there is no chance for me to say this ever. I know that I have a really bad temper that only I will show them. Perhaps it's only when you know that you are very close with someone, then you will let your real personalities out and put them through all the nonsenses. I don't deny that I am a rebellious child, or may be quite a problematic one from all the quarrels and unhappiness that I put them through. But, I already understood what I wanted in life and should there be any consequences in the things I did, I already knew it. Sometimes quarrels happened because I just hoped that they could give me more trust and confidence in what I wanted to do. Well, I'm happy that we rough it through. I don't think the love that they gave me and the love I have for them will ever change.