Waking up this morning has my head filled with a lot of things that I want to say.

Had another anxious dream again. This time, I was running down a spiral staircase. Just like the one in Hotel Luxia, but this flight of staircase is higher. I don't remember if anyone is chasing me this time. So disturbingly after I woke up, I went to check out the meaning of my dreams online.

Here it says "To dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs, indicates that you are achieving a higher level of understanding. You are making progress into your spiritual/emotional/material journey. To dream that you are walking down a flight of stairs, suggests that you are going into your unconscious. It also refers to setbacks that you will experience in your life. To see spiral or winding stairs, signify growth and/or rebirth."

So does it mean that I've made some progress with my new life, yet it's falling apart now? What sort of setbacks? Spiritual? Nah.. My heart don't believe in anything right now. Emotional? Like friendships, family, myself or others? Probably I'm just too pissed last night and so it affected my unconscious mind. Material? I don't feel I lack in anything. In fact, I think I spent too much on clothes. Gonna curb that bad habit of mine.

I wonder what's Poohgal doing now? Hopping with the kangeroos? Hugging the koalas? Or probably shopping for Valentine Day gifts for Strawberry Shortcake and me? Keke.. Hope she's having fun. Meanwhile, Strawberry Shortcake has been having some honey in her life huh. Enjoying it so much until she has a toothache now. *Evil grin* Everybody has such a happening life, except me. Sadly, this Ah ling has to continue with her Strategy project again today. Left with 1/3 of the disgusting piece of work. I shall finish that ASAP by this afternoon. Urgh.

Originally, my secondary school friends will be meeting up today to go visiting in my friend's house. However, due to her relative passing away during this festive period, they will be having outing at Great World City instead. I'm not going. Mainly because my family is going visiting today and some part is because he will be there. I don't know how I would react if I see him. Maybe he's living "oh-so-much-better" life than the past? Will he look so radiant now that it will send tears rolling straight down my cheeks? But seriously, he's no longer important to me anymore. I dislike seeing that face of his, so I wouldn't go. It's an irony that I once love his "cute" face to bits. Haiz. That's it.

I guess the me now who came back from France, got dumped, and started a new life is no longer the same. Should I say that I'm more impulsive and angry being now? Tolerating something I don't like is a thing of the past. I'm no longer the same old me. Maybe I should thank him for sparking this off me. Otherwise, I'll be still sitting in my own comfort zone and looking forward to "our" life. Period.